Lately; I've been wandering and tripping over the harsh bumps within my once strong faith with God that seemed years ago. Lately, I've been questioning whether or not some things have actually happened; whether or not God is actually real (I know, I went from a passive Christian to a errr.. Well, let's not touch on that.); why that such a loving God would condemn people to Hell, and why he would let my parents go through the trauma of my premature birth - and worst of all, why he would give me, a born (and raised) believer a disability that I have to put up with each and every day.
Somebody once told me that I was "given" (maybe that's the wrong word) Cerebral Palsy so that God can actually show how strong he is through me. (I used to think that was selfish...)

I don't really know now. I feel uplifted, I feel cleansed, and I feel invincible.

...Ten minutes ago; I believe he just spoke with me. Or maybe sung to me. But whatever it was; it was through a song of one of my favourite bands.
I found out about Skillet in early September of 2007; the first song I heard from them was "The Last Night" and then "Rebirthing" - soon enough, they became one of my top bands to listen too.
About ten minutes ago, though - I was getting back into my writing and got my motivation back - I was bored; wanted meh tunes. I'm a big Christian Alternative Rock fan, and (a variety) of Christian Metal - so, I turned on some Skillet.
Read the lyrics - these guys are a Christian band - I do extensive research on my favourite bands, watch videos, live concerts, interviews... Yeah - what a gal like me does when she has too much time on her hands. =)

The following lyrics could be interpreted from something else; two people in a relationship, maybe. But I really think it was from God to somebody who was hurt and deeply in pain. Your choice. But I think that was what John Cooper really focused on.
"It's for the girls!" - Aw, c'mon - had to include the quote. =) It's what John said at a live concert I saw on YouTube a long time ago. W00T! Can't wait for their next album!! =D

But it brought tears down my face; and I just felt... Like my old self. Without the pain. Without the misery. Without the depression. Like a new me.
...I felt like I commited suicide. No, not in death - death is a woeful thing. I commited a suicide to change myself; in a positive way - to actually be the person that everybody loves and likes to be around; (even more; even though that's gonna annoy me!); to stop beating myself up with the false lies that people throw at me.

I'm gonna be a rock! =B

There are so many people going through rough times in this world; the least I can do is stop being so selfish with my own problems and focus on other people - like I always used to; instead of putting myself first.

Lyrics (it's so stunning at how something so simple can just bring a phase of renewal!)


Yours To Hold

I see you standing here
But you're so far away
Starving for your attention
You don't even know my name

You're going through so much
But I know that I could be the one to hold you


Every single day
I find it hard to say
I could be yours alone
You will see someday
That all along the way
I was yours to hold
I was yours to hold
I see you walking by
Your hair always hiding your face
I wonder why you've been hurting
I wish I had some way to say

You're going through so much
Don't you know that I will be the one to hold you

I'm stretching but you're just out of reach
You should know
I'm ready when you're ready for me
And I'm waiting for the right time
For the day I catch your eye
To let you know
That I'm yours to hold

I'm stretching but you're just out of reach
I'm ready when you're ready for me

August is a very busy month. There’s my mom’s week camp I have to assist in (watching 8-10 kids, maybe even more…); a St. Pierre family reunion, and getting back and ready for school (consists of purchasing supplies and showing my brother around the school as he is entering Grade Nine). My dad’s birthday (turning the big 4-0!), and saying farewell to my cousins who are moving to Alberta.
This barely even leaves me any time for one last update on a first person… Errr… ‘Novel’, I suppose you could say. (Even though I have one last scene to go; I’ll have to take a Saturday off and finish it before the last week of August...)

But yes, curious about the title, are you? Guess what Emily got to do today!

I got to take part in assisting a big role in watching around ten kids today; for my mom’s camp. It happens every year, where kids register and participate in small crafts, games, songs, a (very) small movie split into parts (featuring a puppet chipmunk named Chadder). – And all this comes down to a very special theme that is featured everyday; and leads community kids closer, or to know God for the first time.

This year – was a science theme. All the ‘crew leaders’ (this is what I’m doing) get to wear LAB COATS! =D It’s so fun! (And I’m spiking my hair up with gel for the rest of the week JUST for the occasion…!)

We have around 125 kids signed up now, though – holy cow!

When we went to the story (basically, this is where the daily bible story is acted out) – today was when “Jesus heals ten people infected with Leprosy” ((hope I spelt that right)). So they stuck red stickers on our faces and told us we were ‘infected’. You know, young ‘uns these days – their imaginations can make something so easy seem so realistic.

Today’s theme of the day was “God has the power so we can be thankful” (AHA!)
“Aha!” – We have to say that whenever the “theme of the day is mentioned” – and that changes everyday. (You know, say it with enthusiasm! Like a scientist getting a sudden spark for a new invention!)

I’ll stop now – I’m just really excited, and really bushed and tired at the same time.

But… With kids so young; the best place to interact with and fiddle around with is their imagination. …Sooo…

“Okay; let’s all put our goggles on!” (Even though I never got a pair because we had SO MANY KIDS…) Two boys (around 10 and 11) just rolled their eyes at me; but I didn’t care about how ridiculous I acted. I just wanted the young ones to look forward to seeing me tomorrow.
“We’re going to go underwater and swim to the crafts!” (There’s a scene of Moses parting the Red Sea along the walls) – Most of them really liked the idea and participated; which made me happy.
(When we went outside to the games; I pretended we were in a desert – because it was warm and the sun was out).
Now, thanks to stuff like that – I have a young boy who’s seven who wants to be around me all the time.
Not that I don’t mind. =)

In other news… I beat the Elite Four in Pokemon Diamond on August 9th. I caught a level 18 Zangoose by inserting my Ruby Game Pak into the Gameboy slot and using the Poke Radar – and I also obtained the Eevee from Bebe (female on the SECOND TRY! =D). It took me about a half hour to decide what I wanted to evolve it into…

Jolteon – Pokemon XD
Flareon – Pokemon XD
Vaporeon – Pokemon FireRed
Umbreon – Pokemon Colosseum
Espeon – Pokemon Colosseum

I was left with Leafeon and Glaceon. I’ve never really raised a grass type before (and I rarely ever do), so I went for that… I levelled my Eevee up at the Moss Rock in Eterna Forest, boom, there’s the Leafeon (did I mention FEMALE?! =D) – it is now at level 9.
Now I have an empty slot in my team… I was thinking of raising a Shellos and evolving it into a Gastrodon?? I don't want my Empoleon - so I was thinking of raising that instead.

Meh, I’m tired – my legs feel like jelly, and I woke up at 8 AM this morning. I’m gonna go to bed for a while, catch up on some sleep, and get all refreshed.